Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
