I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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