4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
