i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
