WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?