Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
