well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
