Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
