Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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