I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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