My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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