Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
