He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
