People in love make me want to vomit
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
