at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
