I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
