i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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