how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
