Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
