then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize