You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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