i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize