Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize