3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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