Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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