am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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