Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
