I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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