so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
