Plan B is the new Plan A
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
