Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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