just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
