yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Actions speak louder than pants.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
