I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
