when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
