Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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