Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
