Don't you send me to vm
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
COCAINE IS GR8
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
