for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
