I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
