I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
