If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
