Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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