Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
