whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
