Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
