Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
