Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
