i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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