either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
