ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
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When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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