You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
