I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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