I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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