My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
