Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
